Healthy Dating Tips: Good Timing

If a woman’s trying to make healthy choices in both dieting and dating, it can be challenging at times. But there’s good news. A mindset that helps her eat wisely can also help her date wisely. This is especially true if she figures out what she wants to accomplish, equips herself with good information, and then decides when to be cautious -- and when to take risks.

Darlene has been working on her healthy mindset since last year, when her doctor told her she needed to lose weight, and her girlfriends insisted that she lose her long-term, not-so-great boyfriend. She decided that her doctor and her girlfriends were giving her good advice.

So, Darlene immediately faced her first timing dilemma:

“Do I wait until I’ve reached a certain weight loss goal to meet new men, or do I place the online personal now and get the ball rolling?”

In the end, Darlene decided to enroll in a weight loss program first and reach half of her weight loss goal before putting herself back into the dating game. That way, she believed she would have time to establish some healthy eating habits and feel more self-confident about her appearance.  

Fortunately, Darlene didn’t allow the numbers on her bathroom scale to keep her out of the dating game indefinitely. That’s why she had an open mind when she started meeting some interesting men through friends before she reached that halfway weight loss goal.

That’s when Darlene faced her next timing decision:

“When/if do I tell a man I’m on a diet and losing weight?”

Some women choose to be upfront with men about their dieting and weight loss goals; other women don’t. Your body and your eating habits are your personal business, especially when you’re just getting to know a man. In other words, you don’t owe him an explanation.

But if you’re the kind of person who prefers to find out sooner, rather than later, how a man will respond to goals in this area of your life, then go ahead and talk to him about it.

Darlene, who was getting seriously re-acquainted with her own good instincts about when to be cautious, and when to take risks, chose to play it on a date-by-date basis. If she felt comfortable with a man, she’d find a way to bring up the subject of dieting briefly, usually with some humor, and then move on to other subjects.

Men with whom she felt comfortable tended to give her direct compliments on her appearance, and sometimes even talked about their own weight. Men with whom she felt uncomfortable found various subtle and not-so-subtle ways to let her know that they placed a premium on women being thin. She didn’t waste much time with the men in the latter category!

And when dating got more serious with one man in particular, Darlene faced one of the most important timing decisions of all:

“Do I feel comfortable enough with this man -- and with my body -- to have sex?”

Tomorrow, in the last of my guest author postings this week, I’ll tell you what Darlene decided to do, and why.

Annie Dennison, Smart at Love