Slim People in Progress

Healthy Dating Tips: Honest Appraisal

When it comes to choosing men and food, we are creatures of habit. And, because habits feel familiar and comfortable, sometimes it’s hard to change them –- even when it’s in our best interest to do so.

That’s why a solid plan for exchanging unhealthy habits for healthy habits begins with the honest appraisal I mentioned in The Dating and Weighting Game. Whether you’re determining the portions and types of food that will help you lose weight, or you’re trying to figure out a plan for avoiding another Mr. Wrong, it starts with you being honest with you.

In fact, be brutally honest, and be sure to write it all down!

A common mistake women make is talking themselves into settling for less than what they want in love and sex. That’s why the biggest truth you need to start with is what kind of dating situation or relationship will bring out the best in you and make you the happiest. Describe that in one paragraph.

Next, make a list of the top ten qualities a potential Mr. Right must have. The list can include some physical qualities, but should focus mainly on qualities related to a man’s character, personality, interests, values, and energy level. Then make a list of the five deal breaker qualities a potential Mr. Right couldn’t possibly have.

• Promise yourself that you won’t spend more than a couple of dates with a man who doesn’t have at least half of your top ten qualities.

• Promise yourself that you will walk in the opposite direction the minute you discover that a man has any of your five deal breaker qualities. 

Thinking you might be tempted to break these promises? That’s why it’s important to enlist a healthy dating buddy who knows what’s in your honest appraisal, and will help you stick to it!

My next healthy dating tips will help you time your major dating decisions more wisely. Check back this week!

Annie Dennison, Smart at Love

The Dating and Weighting Game

Miranda is an attractive, 39-year-old divorcee whose top two New Year’s resolutions for 2006 are the following:

1. Lose 25 pounds without completely giving up chocolate
2. Start dating again without being paralyzed by fear

It’s hard to predict which of her resolutions might be more challenging. In food and in love, Miranda is a woman who definitely wants to have her chocolate--and eat it, too!

Fortunately for all women who love chocolate (isn’t that 99.9% of us?), we can have what we love, in moderation, and lose weight at the same time. It takes commitment to a solid, realistic eating plan, helped along by people in our lives who support that plan.

But…how to re-enter the dating game and not be paralyzed by fear?

Even single women who are “seasoned veterans” in the dating game still have their paralyzing moments. In large part that’s because a single woman’s dating experiences can have a powerful impact on her self-esteem. The same thing happens with weight loss.

Not so coincidentally, there’s some overlap between basic strategies for healthy eating and basic strategies for healthy dating. It all starts with a plan.

For healthy eating, that means determining the portions and types of food that are best for you to eat, and using that information to work towards realistic weight loss goals. For healthy dating, that means doing an honest appraisal of your relationship must-haves and deal breakers, and using that information to work towards realistic love life goals.

Next time, I'll be writing about doing that honest appraisal.

And, whether you’re committed to healthy eating and/or healthy dating, you’ll be more successful--and feel better about what you’re doing--if you keep in mind what comedienne Jackie Guerra wrote in her memoir, How I’ve Gained and Lost Millions of Dollars and Hundreds of Pounds:

“Life is a work in progress, and we’re all under construction.”

Annie Dennison, Smart at Love